Vampires vs The Bronx (2020)

Rating: ⭐  

Netflix's Vampires vs the Bronx may seem like a good film to watch during the Halloween season. Afterall, we haven't had a good vampires movie for awhile now and its comedy horror genre reminded us of some great fun horror movies like Fright Night and Beetlejuice. Alas, this was not to be the case. The plot of the story here is so thin, the title says it all. None of the principal characters are interesting and everything is super predictable. Having a bunch of wise cracking kids take on the lead role as vampire hunters is cliched and seem to be playing to the juvenile crowd.

How the vampires in the story appear in New York were never explained. They just happen to exist out of the blues when the movie starts. Never in an instance do any of the vampires appear to be dangerous or menacing. Despite their strengths and appetite for human blood, they seem to have an incredible amount of weaknesses which are all quickly and easily deployed by the protagonists. The special effects and makeup for the vampires were also poorly done and amateurish. I think we can probably get far better make up effects in a Halloween party. At one point in the movie, the kids were looking at Blade on TV to get inspiration. Those few seconds of Blade shown were a million times better than the entire movie here. And I am not sure what made Zoe Saldana agree to appear in a brief cameo at the start of the film. Probably her sense of charity got the better of her sense of judgment.

So what can I say? There are no laughs, no scares, and no story ... And yet, I can see many decent reviews given to this piece of trash! I am beginning to be more and more convinced that many critics today either need to have their heads examined or have different agendas when writing reviews. Sometimes I wonder if they even actually watched the whole movie before writing their reviews. Just take a look at Robert Ebert.com a presumably respectable review site, which rated this waste of time 3 stars while trashing the excellently made Rebecca (2020) with one and a half stars. I rest my case ...